Dream

We learned in investment, we learned from financial consultant, we learned from news, we learned low risk and high return, we learned, we did, but still we always unconsciously pick those high risk and low return investment... when we invest on human.

It always amazes me how volatile a relationship is. Few days ago, you received a parcel from a certain person, few days later, you found out he removed you from his friend list. Few days ago, you walked in the street, hugging each other, few days later, you hurt each other sarcastically. And most of the time, you only focus on the thing that the other might or has offended you. I did not offend anyone, I never, but people offended me, those people DID. Those were the sentence that repeatedly ringing in your mind when you're upset.

Isn't it very ironic that those people are usually the same person. The person who told you how much they care about you, who disappointed at how blind you are to not being able to feel his cares. And the person who walked away from your life as if you two never met each other. Those... are the same person. And now you wonder... what have you done? It seems always wrong to either speak out or keep silent. Then you choose the solitude.

The world, nevertheless, is still spinning. The moon, ganged up with Venus and Jupiter to form a smile on the sky to happily tease you for being alone. And now you wonder... how could they do that? How dare they did that? Ain't they suppose to give you a hand? Then you realized, when your physiological profile is quite extraordinary, what you perceive is extraordinary too.

I had a nightmare. In my dream, people were all running, tried to escape from something. I was terrified. Thus, I run very fast and was quite in the front line. I looked behind, there were friends behind me that still running but I perceive them as if they were only standing there, did nothing. I left them behind. I successfully got into a car. I thought I was saved. I was wrong. There was no driver, the car moved itself and besides the invisible driver, there's a creepy little gal. I gulped down my saliva, tried carefully not to make any sound, I dialed the number that my fingers are very familiar with. I couldn't reach you. In the middle of my despairs, a less expected person rang me. His gentle voice calmed me.

I have always been waiting for you to give me a hand, to pull me out from this deep hole. I guess that's the problem with me. I seem to always nostalgically wait for the wrong person, nostalgically expect for the wrong person. Or maybe, I just didn't give chance to the right person.

And then I learned. I'm just like the little flower in my story, who is somehow a little fragile, timid and coward. Who is somehow still greedily wish and dream for the comfort dependent. Who is somehow has so little courage to step out.


credit: dream of doll

I need to bin this sorrow image a.s.a.p.


credit: dream of doll

A confident me should replace that.